in my head / what it’s like

I tell myself that I am perfectly fine. I try to convince myself not to panic. It doesn’t do any good, really. Anxiety and depression have a hold on me that I wouldn’t wish on the devil themself. It’s hard to fight against the spiral. It feels like I’m trying to walk straight through a hurricane. When I’m having a good day it hits me like an asteroid and makes me never want to leave my room again. I cry and wallow in self-pity until my mind chooses to turn the switch back on and decide that I’m fine! I don’t understand why my mind constantly wants to ruin a perfectly good day. Sometimes I feel like my tears are infinite.

/ I’m tired of living in a world where we’re taught that liking more than one gender is abnormal. It is exhausting trying to figure out which gender I like more when really I should just be looking at the person themselves. It doesn’t matter what gender you are, what you identify as, or what pronouns you choose to use. What matters is that you’re with someone who makes you happy! It’s hard enough trying to navigate through life to try and find someone who doesn’t break your heart and tear you down, but when you also have to avoid public shaming and disapproval it makes it EVEN HARDER…